Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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