So drunk, too bad you don't want this
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
