Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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