My sheets look like a crime scene.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
