I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
