wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
