she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
