it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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