Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you win again, gameday.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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