this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Randomize
