woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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