ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
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