this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
