I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
