so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I wish you could order shots online.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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