can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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