That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
