I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
