I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize