im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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