No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She announced her abortion via fbk
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i've created a new STD.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
