I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
