Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
