ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
