so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
