tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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