i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize