why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
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