ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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