Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
