Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize