shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
