So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
