I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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