Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
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