sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
God gave him joint rollers for hands
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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