so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
