just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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