you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
