well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
