I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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