Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize