Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
