Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
