Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
