are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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