Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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