You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
