Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
