So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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