How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
