honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize