Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
