Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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