Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
They took my balls.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
