Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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