I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
