I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
send nudes
from the living room?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
