Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize