you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
