btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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