why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
