No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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