I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize