So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
