As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
