I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Randomize
