Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
