all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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