how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
