Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
