i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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