First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
