i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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