Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize